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As part of the Pastor’s Choice series, Pastor Scott Wiens tells a deeply personal story about his daughter Jessica, a story that begins with fear, moves through grief, and eventually becomes a testimony of God’s sovereignty, kindness, and purpose. Scott takes the church back to the morning of December 27, 1994, when he and his wife, Hedie, were living in Gladewater, Texas, with their 18-month-old daughter, Brandy. Hedie was two weeks away from her due date with their second daughter, Jessica, and they had planned another home birth. But suddenly, what had seemed like early labor became a medical emergency. Hedie experienced a placental abruption, her water broke, and an ambulance rushed her to a hospital in Tyler, about thirty minutes away. Scott followed behind, praying the kind of desperate prayers people pray when they know they are not in control.

By God’s mercy, Jessica was born shortly after they arrived at the hospital, and both she and Hedie came home the next day. But from the beginning, Jessica’s life had challenges. She was tongue-tied and struggled to nurse until a small procedure helped. She had jaundice and spent time in the sunlight of their bay window. She had colic and cried for long stretches during those first months. Still, those early difficulties did not prepare Scott and Hedie for what began to happen around eighteen months. Hedie noticed it first. Jessica stopped responding when they called her name. She seemed to withdraw, to drift into her own world. The little girl who had been present with them seemed suddenly harder to reach.

Like many parents facing the first signs of autism, Scott and Hedie began searching for answers. They started with hearing tests, wondering if Jessica simply could not hear them. Her hearing was fine. They talked to doctors, but no clear help came. Hedie kept researching and eventually found the Andrews Center, a certified community behavioral health clinic. Two specialists came to their home to observe Jessica. Scott remembers their kindness most of all. They watched, asked questions, and then gently told the family that Jessica needed to be evaluated for autism. Further testing confirmed it. Jessica was autistic.

Scott explains autism spectrum disorder as a complex neurodevelopmental condition that affects how a person perceives the world, communicates, and interacts with others. He is careful to describe autism as a spectrum, not a single experience shared in the same way by every person. Some people have mild forms, including what has often been called Asperger’s. Others are profoundly impacted, with significant communication, mental, and behavioral challenges. Jessica’s autism shaped her life in very real ways. She never crawled but went straight to walking, and for a long time she walked on her toes. She did not speak until around age three, and even then her speech was limited. One of her first words came during therapeutic horseback riding, when she wanted the horse to move and finally managed to say, “Go.” For Scott and Hedie, that one word felt enormous.

Jessica also struggled with social cues, changing routines, sensory discomfort, and communication barriers. If the family took a familiar route to visit friends and Hedie had to turn around because she forgot something, Jessica could become overwhelmed because the routine had changed. She hated wearing shoes when she was younger, and later they realized it was because her feet would sweat, her socks would get damp, and the feeling distressed her. She could not always tell them what hurt, what she wanted, or what she needed. That meant Scott and Hedie had to become students of their daughter’s behavior, trying to interpret what she could not say. When they could not figure it out quickly enough, Jessica became frustrated too. It was difficult for everyone.

The diagnosis brought grief, and Scott names that grief honestly. No one had died, but dreams had. Parents often carry pictures of what their child’s life might become: college, marriage, children, independence, a career, leaving home. For Scott and Hedie, many of those dreams had to be released. They also had to face the loss of their own expected future. They would likely never be empty nesters. They would remain caregivers for the rest of their lives. Hedie wondered at first if she had done something wrong, as many parents do when suffering enters the life of a child. Scott says the search for “why” became futile. At that time, they were also not walking closely with the Lord and had no strong church community around them. Their past church wounds had left them disillusioned, so the grief landed in a lonely place.

Yet Scott does not tell Jessica’s story as a tragedy. He tells it as a testimony, though not the shallow kind that pretends pain is not painful. He speaks candidly about meltdowns, hard days, family strain, and the difficulty of discipline when a child cannot connect cause and effect. He tells about Jessica’s deep sensitivity to conflict, how even a change in tone could trigger her distress. Their home was not a screaming home, but any sign of anger or tension could overwhelm Jessica. That shaped the whole family, including her sisters. It forced them to become much more aware of their tone, their reactions, and their need for self-control. What began as a challenge became, over time, one of Jessica’s lessons to them: hate conflict, pursue peace, and learn to govern yourself.

Scott also shares the joy and humor of life with Jessica. Some stories are funny in retrospect, like the time at church when Jessica was in the women’s restroom, noticed an unpleasant smell from another stall, found air freshener, and sprayed it over the top because, in her straightforward way, “It’s smelly.” Her social filter may have been different, but her intentions were often wonderfully simple. She was trying to help.

Jessica’s gifts are just as much a part of the story as her challenges. She is highly creative. She has painted, sculpted, made pottery, invented characters, filled blank comic books with stories, and even had her own art exhibit in Florida. She is gifted with her hands in ways that surprised her teachers. She loves animals, and Scott says animals seem to know she loves them. They gravitate toward her. She graduated from high school the same year as her younger sister, Kate, and the family arranged for them to walk across the stage together. She was baptized as a teenager by Scott, and she knows the Lord. Every night at seven o’clock, without fail, she prays. If the family is away from home, she still wants to make sure she prays. If someone is sick or hurting, Jessica often says, “I’ll pray for you,” and then she does, sometimes placing a hand on their shoulder and praying with simple sincerity.

This is where Scott presses into the deeper theological question: how do we view people with disabilities? Do we see autism or disability as a mistake? Do we imagine God was caught off guard? Scott says Jessica’s autism did not surprise God. He believes God is sovereign in all ways and in all things, even when that truth becomes hard to hold. He points to Jesus’ words about the man born blind, when people asked whether the man or his parents had sinned. Jesus rejected that framework and said the man was born blind so that the works of God might be displayed in him. Scott does not reduce that passage to physical healing alone. He sees in it a broader truth: God’s purposes in a person’s life often go far beyond what we can see.

Because of that, Scott no longer sees Jessica as someone God failed to fix. He sees her as someone God has used to change him and many others. He says maybe people with disabilities are not the broken ones in need of our fixing; maybe God places them in our lives to expose and heal what is broken in us.

The first lesson Scott names from Jessica’s life is unselfishness. Philippians 2 calls believers to do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility to count others more significant than themselves. Jessica lives this naturally. As a child, if someone took her toy, she did not fight for it. If she hears Scott and Hedie talking about the cost of something, she offers her money, even if the amount in her little treasure box could never cover the need. She gives without calculation, without protecting herself first, without the guardedness so many adults call wisdom.

The second lesson is servanthood. Jessica loves to help. She has served at church coffee bars, done chores without grumbling, made popcorn for others, and worked at Love Kitchen through an Employment and Community First program in Tennessee. There she washes dishes, stocks shelves, and helps serve people in need. Scott connects this to Colossians 3, where Paul says to work heartily as for the Lord. Jessica may not be consciously thinking through that theology as she works, but her heart reflects it. She serves gladly, without show.

The third lesson is kindness and tenderness. Jessica is moved by suffering. If she sees a homeless person, she worries that they need food. If she sees an animal dead on the roadside, she grieves. If someone is crying, she becomes sad with them and wants to help. Colossians 3 calls God’s people to put on compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Scott sees those virtues embodied in Jessica in ways that challenge him.

The fourth lesson is peacemaking and self-control. Jessica cannot always process conflict or mediate it, but she desires peace. Her sensitivity has taught the family to slow down, watch their tone, take a breath, and pursue peace more intentionally. Hebrews 12:14 says to make every effort to live in peace with everyone. Jessica’s life has pressed that command into daily practice.

The final lesson is childlike faith. Jessica cannot explain complex theology, but she believes God is real, she loves Him, she talks to Him, and she trusts that He hears. Jesus said the kingdom belongs to such as these, and that unless we receive the kingdom like a child, we will not enter it. Jessica’s prayers are not polished, but they are pure. They come from the heart and, as Scott says, go straight to the throne of God.

Scott ends with a memory from when Jessica was a teenager in Florida. One beautiful morning, he found her lying on the couch in her pajamas, peaceful and still, which was unusual for her. He said, “Jessica, isn’t it a beautiful morning?” Without opening her eyes, she answered, “It’s a beautiful morning forever.” In her limited vocabulary, she reached for the word that best captured the greatness of the moment. Forever.

For Scott, that sentence became more than a sweet memory. It became a glimpse of eternity. Jessica may struggle with autism all her life, but in Christ, she has forever ahead of her. One day, every hindrance will be gone. One day, God’s people will be made whole. And one day, those who belong to Jesus will wake to what Jessica somehow named so beautifully: a beautiful morning forever.