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Parenting advice can sound brilliant until you try to use it at 7:00 a.m. on a school day. In Purposeful Parenting, part of our In Christ series, Pastor Tyler Lynde brought Ephesians 6:1–4 down to the level of real life—where kids forget what you just said, eye rolls feel like a native language, and the repetition required of moms and dads can be discouraging. In the flow of Ephesians, Tyler reminded us that identity in Christ leads to purpose in Christ, and that purpose is shaped by being filled with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18) and worked out in mutual submission (Ephesians 5:21). That rhythm continues into family life: disciples of Jesus walk out the gospel under the same Spirit who helps husbands and wives, parents and children live together in a way that honors God.

Tyler began with a premise from Psalm 127:3: children are a gift from the Lord, a reward from him. That truth grounds everything else. Even when family life is chaotic, Scripture insists our kids are not interruptions to the “real” goals of life; they are part of the goal. Christian parents are called to love their children the way God loves us—faithfully, patiently, and with grace—even when we don’t deserve it. From there, Tyler opened Ephesians 6 and noted two commands for children and two for parents.

First, children are required to obey their parents. Paul’s word for obey carries the idea of “hearing under”—attentive listening that leads to action. Tyler joked about the “huh?” problem and the never-ending repeat train, but he pressed the point: repetition is not failure; it is discipleship. Children learn through consistent, loving follow-through. He said more than once that our children will rise to whatever standard we repeatedly require. When Paul adds, “in the Lord,” he lifts obedience above chore charts and homework deadlines. Obedience to parents trains a child to obey God. We are not merely forming compliant kids; we are shaping hearts that recognize authority and are willing to yield to the Lord. Tyler quoted Colossians 3:20—children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord—and encouraged young people to see obedience as an act of worship. He also drew a careful line: if a parent commands sin, children are not required to obey. We honor God above all.

Second, Tyler challenged us to resist the culture’s quiet discipleship. The world catechizes our kids through entertainment, social media, and a shrug at defiance. So much children’s programming makes parents the punchline—bumbling, out-of-touch, easily dismissed. Tyler and Amy chose to be intentionally strict at key points when their kids were young, especially about media, not to shelter in fear but to disciple with wisdom. If you allow your children to watch shows that raise moral questions, watch with them and turn those moments into conversations. Ask what was wrong in that scene or attitude. Help them learn discernment in real time. Tyler read 2 Timothy 3:1–5 to show how the last days are marked by self-love, arrogance, and, notably, disobedience to parents. We cannot outsource parenting to a culture that denies God’s power while imitating godliness.

From there, Tyler slowed down on the second command to children: honor your father and mother. Honor is not the same as obedience. Obedience gets the job done; honor is a posture of the heart—respect, gratitude, and a willingness to value someone even when they are imperfect. He made this intensely practical by stretching the command across life stages. Children practice honor in the posture and tone of daily life. Teens learn it as they wrestle with independence and respect. Adult children continue to honor by caring for aging parents as they are able, strengthening families so that the church supplements rather than replaces family responsibility. Tyler pointed to Luke 2:51–52, where Jesus, who had every right to lead, chose to submit to Mary and Joseph. If the sinless Son of God embraced parental authority, we can too. Paul also calls this the first commandment with a promise—“that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Tyler resisted simplistic formulas; the promise reveals God’s wise design for human flourishing. Homes marked by honor tend to form people who are resilient, teachable, and able to build healthy relationships.

Then Tyler turned the spotlight on parents. The first word is a restraint: fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. Though addressed to fathers as heads of households, the application fits both parents. One of the surest ways to provoke children is to give them a moving target—unclear standards today, new rules tomorrow, shifting expectations depending on our moods. Tyler urged clarity and consistency. State expectations plainly, mean what you say, and celebrate small wins. Discipline that keeps changing becomes discouragement; kids stop trying because they can’t figure out what success looks like. Another way parents provoke is by making unreasonable demands—placing pressures on children that are age-inappropriate or driven by a parent’s unmet needs. He mentioned the sideline parent who relives old glory through a child and then shames the child for not delivering. Be wise about what is fitting for this child in this season. Finally, Tyler drew a bright line. “We shouldn’t treat our children harshly.” Colossians 3:21 warns, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” Fear-based control, verbal attacks, demeaning sarcasm, and any form of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse are sin. Christian discipline must be guided by love and self-control, never by rage. Parents represent the heart of the heavenly Father to their children. Our aim is to build up, not break down.

If the first parental word is restraint, the second is responsibility: bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. This is our calling in Christ. Tyler distinguished teaching from training. Teaching tells the truth—right and wrong, who God is, what he commands, why Jesus saves. Training shows the truth in action—what repentance looks like after a parental failure, how to handle frustration without sinning, how to treat a sibling with grace after conflict. “Do as I say, not as I do” will not do. Children imitate what they see. So parents repent quickly and clearly. Tyler modeled that humility from the pulpit, apologizing for ways he may have failed and asking his own children to forgive him. That kind of honesty protects children from confusing God with their parents; it keeps the parent from becoming the lens through which the child misreads the Father’s heart. And it makes the gospel tangible at home.

At several points Tyler returned to the foundation: the goal is not to produce “good kids,” but to disciple sons and daughters who know Jesus. Our children need to be born again, not merely to act right. There are religions and households that demand tight behavior without new hearts; that is not the call of the gospel. The call is to labor and pray for regeneration while we patiently shape patterns that agree with God’s Word. When we make God’s ways normal at home—when correction is clear, consequences are consistent, and love remains steady in the hard moments—he uses those rhythms to form faith.

Tyler also named the fatigue many parents feel. The days are long. The repeat train feels endless. You wonder if anyone is listening. In Christ, that repetition is not wasted. Consistent follow-through teaches that words matter. It shapes a child’s attention span and humility. It builds a life ready to submit to God. Along the way parents need the church family, especially a multi-generational church, to help teach, reinforce, and encourage. No one parents alone. In the power of the Spirit, we submit to one another, cheer each other on, and offer counsel that flows from the Word.

There was good news for tender consciences and tired hearts. Some look back and wish they could redo years. Others hurt for children who are wandering. Tyler reminded us that God is not bound by our timelines. He redeems past failures. He completes what he starts. Prodigals are not beyond his reach. God loves our children more than we do, and he is at work in a thousand ways we cannot see. Keep the long view; keep the warm light on at home; keep praying. “Days are long and years are short” became a refrain not of regret but of hope. Purposed by the Spirit, our ordinary faithfulness adds up—bedtime prayers, family worship, apologies when tempers flare, consistent chores, Sunday worship, steady yeses and noes. Over time, children see what grace looks like. In due season, they often rise up to call their parents blessed.

Under the banner of In Christ, this message cast family life as part of our shared purpose. We are not aiming for perfect optics in public; we are building homes where God’s ways feel normal, authority is good news, repentance is expected, and love stays present through the rough patches. Children are a gift. Parents are stewards. Jesus is Lord. And by his Spirit, we can practice purposeful parenting that makes much of him.